remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
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This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year