Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
why didn't you poke me back
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong