I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.