OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
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Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
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Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.