Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
