Porn is love you can see.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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