definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize