Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
