I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
