is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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