I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
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Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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