those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize