I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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