I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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