I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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