My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n