Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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