Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
