I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
