you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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