Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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