Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
