GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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