you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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