you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize