Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
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Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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