I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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