you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
