It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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