i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize