Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
