I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize