How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
