There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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