There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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