Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize