I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize