highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
