FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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