I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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