Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
