Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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