Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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