just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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