on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
