need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
