i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
