life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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