I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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