are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
that is very illegal...i love you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
