PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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