Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
