Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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