I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize