i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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