I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
