Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
