i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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