I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
