Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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