If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
