She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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